


Swear I’m Gonna Lift Your Head Up (Swear I'm Gonna Break Your Fall)

by Elle_Readsxo98



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 5 Things, Attempt at Humor, Confessions, Dorks in Love, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Humor, I love her, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, Like, M/M, Making Out, Mutual Pining, Pining, Tanaka Saeko is a Good Sibling, Volleyball Dorks in Love, but she is also a little shit, i think? not really tbh, i've reread this 100 times so if there's any errors then it's in gods hands, it gets a lil steamy but not really, no beta we die like men, really hard, sleepy ennoshita, tsukkiyama if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 01:42:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29709744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elle_Readsxo98/pseuds/Elle_Readsxo98
Summary: "It really had started off innocently enough, Tanaka was just so warm and Ennoshita was just so fucking tired all of the time. "-----Ennoshita can fall asleep anywhere. Whether it's in the comfort of his bed, on a table between classes, or on the broad shoulder of his attractive friend, he's been there and done it.Tanaka had learned this the hard way. The worst part was that the spiker had grown so accustomed to it that his instinct when it happened was now to wrap an arm around the other's waist and rest his head gently on top of Ennoshita's so that they were both comfortable. Tanaka just wished he had remembered to hold himself back when they were in the presence of their teammates and friends.
Relationships: Ennoshita Chikara/Tanaka Ryuunosuke
Comments: 22
Kudos: 143





	Swear I’m Gonna Lift Your Head Up (Swear I'm Gonna Break Your Fall)

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically 9000 words of me projecting my terrible dozing habits onto my favourite sleepy comfort character. Enjoy!  
> Shout-out to my friend Bri for putting up with my disaster ass while I went through many emotions writing and publishing this!
> 
> The title is taken from 'Begging' by Dua Lipa.

Tanaka blinks blearily at the practice test in front of him, then spares a glance up to the clock on his bedroom wall. It was almost 11pm. The second years usual Saturday study session, which almost always ended at around 8pm, had been grueling on well past the deadline since they all had a literature test coming up, and he could tell he wasn't the only one starting to feel the effects. To his left, Noya sat with his head sandwiched between his hands, posed as if he was focusing on reading the textbook on the table directly below his eye line. Tanaka knew him well enough by now though to know he was just trying to hide the fact he was asleep. He had seen him pull the stunt in class hundreds of times. Honestly, did he think they were stupid?

In front of him, Narita seemed to be determinedly scribbling and rewriting notes through red-rimmed, tired eyes as he purposely ignores the splayed arms of Kinoshita that lie lazily across the table, face pressed into his crumbled notes as he snores away quietly.

Months and months of studying and hanging out with his friends had grown him accustomed to these quirks and habits- what he was not used to, however, was the soft pressure against his shoulder and the hand splayed across his knee. He glances to his right to confirm that, yeah, Ennoshita was indeed snoring softly as his head rested on Tanakas’ shoulder, a small frown on his face as he slept. He bites his lip to hold back the small smile that is threatening to force itself on his face as he tries to ignore the way his heart speeds up like it usually does whenever he focuses too hard or too long on what his feelings mean. He looks down at the hand splayed out on his knee and he briefly considers resting his own on top. He couldn’t help but wonder how their hands would look linked together, tan skin against pale. His own rough, thick fingers compared to Ennoshita’s' long, slim ones. He studies the pale hand, staring intently as if trying to learn every curve, callus, scar, and vein that coiled around the skin.

He tentatively reaches his hand out before he can think better of it, hovering hesitantly over the others as he contemplates indulging in his desires while the object of said desire was still out cold. Just as he feels the heat of his palm mingling with the hand below his, a loud bang startles him into jerking his hand away like he had been burned, rustling Ennoshita into startling himself awake too. Tanaka whips his head to the offending noise to see a bleary-looking Noya rubbing his head as he groans.

Tanaka feels a weird need to shout at Noya for disrupting his peace, but he knows he doesn't really have any right. All Noya had done was startle himself awake (Tanaka did let out a barked laugh when he fully realised what Noya had actually done) and disrupt Tanakas' pathetically pining thoughts. He looks back over to Ennoshita, who is just blinking rapidly as he stares at his notes in confusion - Tanaka pitied him. He must be exhausted if he: 1. Fell asleep _on Tanaka_ during a _study session_. And 2. Looked like he didn't have a clue where he was.

Tanaka decided to take action, and definitely not just for Ennoshitas' sake.

"Right ejits," Tanaka starts, clapping his hands, "we are all clearly pushing our limits, so, get the hell out of my room and get some sleep."

Ennoshita looks at him with a hazy smile, eyes hooded from sleep. He opens his mouth in what seems like what is about to be an agreement but then he cuts himself off with a huge yawn that makes Tanaka's heart go fuzzy. _He looks so cute_ , Tanaka thinks as he considers just how much he wants to reach out and run his hands through the mused black hair until he falls asleep again. Tanaka tenses as he realises he has been staring a little too long and spares a look to his other friends, sagging in relief when he sees they were all still groggily trying to organise their school supplies.

After they all slowly gather their stuff and pack it away into their respective backpacks, they all shuffle to the front door like sleep-deprived toddlers. Noya is the first to leave, dragging his feet out the door as his bag trails on the ground behind him, Kinoshita and Narita following shortly after since they stayed basically next door to each other, until lastly it was just a bleary-eyed Ennoshita putting (or rather, _fumbling_ ) on his shoes as Tanaka leans against the wall watching him with a fond smile.

He lets out a quiet laugh. "You gonna be okay walking home, Chikara?"

Ennoshita looks up at him, mild shock on his face as a steady blush settles itself on his cheeks. Tanaka figures it must just be because he's tired. Yeah, that's it.

He huffs out a steady hum, eyes hooded as he stares at Tanaka with a lazy smile. "Yeah, don't worry, I won't pass out in a ditch."

"Saeko is on a break from college, so I could get her to give you a lift?" Tanaka offers, because he wants to be nice. Definitely not because he hopes he can prolong their contact for a while longer as he rides shotgun.

Ennoshita shakes his head, stifling a laugh. "I like my odds against the ditch better." Tanaka lets out a loud laugh, he couldn't help but agree when he had been the victim of car sickness one too many times at the hands of his wild sister. He thinks for a moment, eyes lighting up with mirth when he speaks again.

"I could walk you home then? It isn't too far a walk... besides, I wouldn’t want to be responsible for our future-captain going missing!" Tanaka tilts his chin up in the air proudly to emphasise his point.

Ennoshita regards the ace with a bemused smile but nods regardless. "Yeah, okay then."

The walk was peaceful, a comfortable silence as they walk side-by-side under the clear night sky. Tanaka watches the other boy from the corner of his eye, mouth quirking upwards when he spots Ennoshita walking with his eyes closed. Before he can think better of it, Tanaka pulls Ennoshita into his side, arm wrapping around his waist as the latter opened his eyes in surprise, blinking at him curiously. His heart starts hammering against his ribcage, suddenly unsure of his bold move.

"You're sleepwalking," Tanaka gives his best convincing laugh, "put your head on my shoulder, and that way I can actually make sure you don't face plant and eat concrete."

Ennoshita simply shrugs, a small smile on his face as he complies with the order and closes his eyes once more.

Long after Ennoshita sends a sleepy wave goodbye, and Tanaka makes it into his own bed, the Ace still feels the warmth spreading through his shoulder and the touch that feels permanently burned onto his knee.

He has it bad. He is truly and utterly _fucked._

\--

Tanaka assumes what he branded as the "study session incident" was just a one-off - a momentary lapse in Ennoshitas' judgment since he was on the brink of exhaustion.

Tanaka was wrong. So very, _stupidly_ wrong.

Ennoshita seems to have taken a liking to Tanaka's shoulder since every other day he would cushion his cheek against it as he drifted off to sleep. Lunch breaks for the second years were often spent sitting on the grassy slopes outside to eat their lunch, and the beating sun seemed to have an effect on Ennoshita if the way it always sent his eyes drifting closed was anything to go by.

So when Tanaka feels the warm presence once again pressed against his shoulder, shallow breaths tickling his skin through his school shirt and the fuzzy feeling of a hand on his knee, he freezes momentarily before relaxing into the touch. His first initial reaction is a soft smile as he watches the rise and fall of Ennoshitas' chest and the flickering behind his soft closed eyes, his second reaction is to wrap an arm around the other's waist to steady him so he doesn't fall backward, and then a split moment too late, after Ennoshita snuggles in further with a content sleepy hum and makes his face burn, his next reaction is for his eyes to immediately snap to his friends.

He flushes further when he sees all of them regarding him with amused smiles and raised eyebrows. He shrugs the shoulder that isn't currently holding the cutest sleeping beauty to ever grace his presence and gives them all a sheepish grin.

"I don't want to wake him... he must be tired."

It wasn't technically a _lie_ since Tanaka knew how many college prep classes Ennoshita took, and that they filled up all his free time with extra homework assignments and late-night study sessions (he has received enough late-night texts from Chikara to know by now that the classes were kicking his ass, if only a little bit). However, Tanaka _would_ be lying if he said he didn't like imagining that Ennoshita was doing it because he felt comfortable around Tanaka, and not just passing out on the closest and warmest thing to him.

Noya smirks at him, wide and unforgiving. "The arm around his waist is a bit much though, don't you think?"

Tanaka scowls at him, huffing as his hand stays put where it is on Ennoshita's - _very firm, strong, attractive -_ back muscles, thumb rubbing absentmindedly.

"I don't want him to fall!" He whispers harshly, trying not to wake Ennoshita. "None of us are even close to captain material if he cracks his skull on concrete!" Tanaka knows they all know that he is a dirty liar, but they all just keep smirking at him.

"You make a totally strong, convincing point. Doesn't sound incredibly pining at all." Kinoshita raises his eyebrow in a way that suggests that he does, in fact, know every one of Tanakas' deepest thoughts and desires so, in lieu of an answer, he just scowls deeper.

The bell disrupts them before Narita gets his share in the banter (bullying is what it was, Tanaka needed new friends) and he is immediately distracted by the way Ennoshita jilts upright and blinks drowsily down at his abandoned, half-eaten bento box.

"Awh," he pouts and Tanakas' heart absolutely _does not_ swell at the sight, "I didn't finish my lunch."

"Don't worry Enno, I'll get you a snack before practice today." The offer comes out softer than Tanaka intends and he briefly regrets it when he hears the other second years snickering between themselves, but the regret washes away instantly when Ennoshita sends him a sleepy, dazed smile as his eyes light up while he is packing away his stuff back into his bag.

"Thanks Ryuu, that'd be great." He breaks off into a yawn, then waves goodbye as he heads off to his next class, completely unaware of the fact that Tanaka has decided he no longer requires nor knows how to breathe in oxygen anymore. Ennoshita has never said his first name before, and the way it came out tired and dreamy made Tanakas' heart hurt in the nicest of ways. Is that what he would sound like in the morning, just woken up and still blissfully dazed from sleep in their shared bed? Tanakas mind briefly starts to wonder how Ennoshita would say his given name under _different, less wholesome_ circumstances but a swift kick and a cackle from Noya forces him to scramble to his feet instead.

"Come on lover boy, fantasise about your disgustingly sweet crush in class."

Tanaka snorts and shoves him in retaliation. He knows Noya is only joking, but sadly it is exactly what he does while he sits through another literature lesson. He doodles mindlessly with a small smile on his face as he imagines waking up to a sleepy Chikara wrapped in his arms on a lazy sunday morning, sharing slow kisses and a quiet breakfast.

He was in far too deep. He was fucked. Totally fucked.

\---

After a few weeks, Tanaka feels like he is gaining a somewhat sixth sense regarding being able to predict when Ennoshita is about to pass out on him. His instincts kick in now and before Ennoshitas’ head even hits his shoulder Tanaka has already slouched, so that Ennoshita's head fits snuggly in the crook of his neck, and his arm is already perched behind the other's back to keep him upright. Noya and Kinoshita have an absolute field day when they realise this on a bus ride home, after a grueling practice match against Date Tech, and make it their goal in life to torment Tanaka for his “soft, gooey centre” he has been hiding. Tanaka thinks it is absolutely ridiculous considering he’s always had a soft, tender heart – he just got a little bit hot-headed sometimes.

It’s getting dangerous now though, Tanaka realises, because every time Ennosita falls asleep on him the former can’t help but feel his heart grow softer each time. He’s getting too used to it now, his thoughts drifting to sleepy eyes and dazed smiles a little too often for it to be considered friendly anymore. He tries to pinpoint exactly when he crossed the line of wanting to go from friends to lovers but all he can really come up with is the fact it’s always been Ennoshita at the centre of his brain. When Tanaka is doing something he knows he shouldn’t be, usually thinking of Ennoshitas’ disappointed frown is enough to stop him (well, most of the time anyway. Noya doesn’t seem to have the same issue). When he is in the convenience store before school, his mind automatically drifts to thinking about what treats he should get for Ennoshita, his feet already heading to the cereal aisle to pick out a pack of the other man's favourite breakfast bars. The real give away though, Tanaka thinks, might just be the fact that Tanaka has daydreamed up countless and endless scenarios where he finally pulls it together enough to kiss Ennoshita and run away dramatically into the sunset together, usually while he’s staring openly fond at the subject of said dreams.

Yeah, that just might be the giveaway. Who could really tell though?

The answer, Tanaka bitterly realises, is everybody. It turns out that zoning out while staring longingly at your teammate asleep on your shoulder at any given time is a big enough giveaway on its own.

He’s sitting with his back against the wall, gulping down water like his throat is dry terrain in desperate need of rain, when he feels a presence flop down beside him. He reacts immediately, not even stopping his desperate chugging, getting into an automatic position with his arm out as he slouches slightly, ready when the warmth spreads along his side and sets fire to his heart. What he doesn’t expect though is the sound of Noyas’ gleeful cackle from beside him.

“I told you he’d do it!”

Tanaka does stop chugging then, but only because he chokes. He turns his watery eyes towards his _evil_ best friend and attempts his best intimidating scowl. It isn’t very successful when his face flushed with embarrassment is taken into consideration.

“What the fuck are you on about, Noya?”

He gets a smug grin in response. “I told the team that you have an automatic ‘cuddle mode’ thanks to our future captain, and you proved me right.”

“I do not!” He splutters, then immediately cringes when his voice comes out overly defensive, even by his standards. His face heats up with embarrassment when he sees’ the team all staring at him with a mixture of gleeful smirks (see; Suga, Kinoshita,) and eyebrows raised in amusement (Narita, Asahi, Daichi). Even coach Ukai is fucking laughing at him. He relaxes though when he notices the reason for the topic at hand doesn’t seem to be anywhere in sight.

“oh ho, but you do!” He singsongs gleefully as he bounces back up to re-join the group, but then he turns back with a smirk. “He’s only away to the bathroom, don’t look so lost... _lover boy_.”  
  
Laughter surrounds them as Tanaka scrambles up, abandoning his water bottle in order to try to grab at the cackling Libero. Noya throws heckles ( _“Not my fault you’re a cuddler Ryuu!” “You should hide your heart eyes better!”_ ) at him as he dodges behind a laughing Kiyoko then skids under the net past an unamused Kageyama. Tanaka isn’t as graceful as he scrambles under the net, and just as his fingers graze the back of the liberos’ shirt – he skids through Tanakas’ open legs and bolts. He hears Hinata and Yamaguchi let out a gleeful _‘go Noya-senpai!”._

Dirty traitors.

“Noya, you brat, come here so I can-“

“What the hell did I miss?” Tanaka freezes when he hears the familiar dazed voice, turning his head to see Ennoshita laughing where he leans against the doorway. Tanaka can only let out a dumb ‘uhhh’ before he’s turning to the rest of the team with pleading eyes. Surely they wouldn’t let him meet his demise so soon?

Tanaka should’ve known better. Not a single one of them opens their mouth to help – they just watch and laugh as Tanaka fumbles with coming up with an excuse. Traitorous bastards, the lot of them. He turns his head back to the doorway, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Uh, Noya squeezed my water bottle while I was drinking so I’d choke.” Tanaka smiles sheepishly when he hears the bastards all laughing at him (or cackling if referring to Noya), trying desperately to hide his embarrassment.

Ennoshita lets out a fake dramatic gasp, hands coming up over his heart. “He tried to drown you?” He turns to Noya with amusement in his eyes, clearly trying to fight back a smile. “One of your dearest, fellow Senpai?”

The gym erupts into laughter again and all Tanaka can do is huff. “Aren’t we supposed to be practicing?”

It’s a pathetic attempt to deflect, he knows that, but it has its desired effect when coach Ukai claps his hands and barks at them all to get back to practicing. Tanaka refuses to acknowledge the fact that the coach is still very openly laughing at him.

They are put into pairs to practice their serves and receives and, because Tanaka has rotten luck and everyone is out to get him, the whole team goes out of their way to make sure Tanaka gets partnered with Ennoshita. It’s a disaster. How is Tanaka supposed to be able to focus when Ennoshita is focusing on him so intently, tongue poking out every time he dives for a receive. Tanaka promptly decides that, no matter how much he fantasised about it, he should never have been exposed to the small, pink organ. His first thought is how cute Ennoshita looks when he concentrates, his next thought is decidedly less wholesome as he imagines how it would feel gliding against his own.

He receives a ball straight to the forehead for that one.

Ennoshita lets out a small yelp and runs over to him, apologising profusely and asking if he is okay. Tanaka can only nod as the embarrassment floods over him. He hears Daichi whispering, “god, he really is so gone” to a laughing Suga and Tanaka can only inwardly agree.

This was starting to become a real problem. He was so fucked.

\---

By the time December rolls around and they’re on their winter break, Tanaka has fully accepted his position as Ennoshitas’ travel pillow. As he watches the 4rth and final popcorn bag slowly spin in the microwave, listening to the occasional pleasant sound of popping, he considers exactly how he feels about it and how he should feel.

He thinks he should probably hate it, maybe even make more of an effort to push the tired man away from him whenever he gets too close, but he knows it would be useless. He’d cave every time if it meant he got to see that dazed smile aimed at him. What he does know is that every time Ennoshita leans his head on him, his shoulder, his chest, even his legs now, he can’t help but feel his heart swell with fondness and love, igniting a flame he knew had spread too far to ever be put out – not that he’d ever want to put it out. Loving Ennoshita was as easy as breathing and as suffocating as drowning. It made him feel light, like as long as they were together then he could get through anything, but then he would get a sinking feeling in his stomach and his mind would swirl with hurt when he realised he could never have him in the way he desperately wanted.

One thing is for definite though, Tanaka was burning the popcorn. He only notices because Noya’s loud “Ryu, hurry the hell up” pulls him out of his brooding. He rushes to split the bags between different sized bowls, clumsily balancing them all up and between his arms as he slowly makes his way to the living room where the team is waiting in front of the paused T.V. screen.

“About time!” Noya laughs, making Tanaka scowl from between the bowls of popcorn.

“You could help y’know.” He grumbles. He struggles as he tries to hand the bowls out between the group. One for the third-years sitting on cushions by the heater, two to the first-years split into two groups laying on the floor directly in front of the tv, one for Narita and Kinoshita struggling over the love seat, and finally one for him, Noya and Ennoshita on the couch. They’ve left him the middle seat and his stomach jumps as he thinks about the opportunity for Ennoshita to cuddle into him. His dreams are soured though when he sees Noya smirking at him like he _knows_ what Tanaka is thinking. He hands the bowl to Noya with an eye-roll so he can flop down in his seat, heart swooping when Ennoshita shares some of his blanket with a tired smile – he accepts it a little too eagerly.

It’s about half-way through the movie, a rom-com Yamaguchi and Hinata had insisted was sailing to the top of the box office, when he feels the slight pressure on his chest. He looks down, breath hitching when he sees that Ennoshita is curled into his chest, snoring softly with a hand curled into the spikers’ t-shirt. He smiles softly and bites his lip as he brings his arm up carefully, as to not wake him up, and curls it around his shoulders. Ennoshita snuggles in subconsciously, still snoring peacefully, and Tanaka feels like his heart might beat out his chest.

In the dark room with everyone distracted, he lets himself indulge in taking in all the details of the peaceful man asleep on his chest. Tanaka can see active flickering behind closed eyelids, his nose scrunched up in that cute way that makes Tanaka weak, and he tries to imagine what he might be dreaming of. Was it a good or bad dream? He wondered if he was dreaming of the team's future in volleyball or of his looming assignment deadlines. Maybe he was dreaming up a decent end for the movie they were watching, one that included him and Tanaka. Probably not, but it was nice to imagine.

He lets his mind wander as his gaze lingers on pouted lips. Tanaka wanted to be the one who could thumb away the stress lines the future captain got on his forehead when he was focusing too hard for too long. He wanted to be the one to kiss away his frowns until he was giggling instead. Tanaka wanted to belong to Ennoshita, to be there for the good and the bad for the rest of their lives. His heart ached in his chest as he brought himself back to reality. He could never have him in that way.

He lets out a quiet sigh and forces himself to drag his eyes back to the screen, but he freezes when he realises that he’s being watched. Saeko is leaning against the door frame, eyebrow raised with an amused smirk on her face.

“Enjoying the movie, Ryu?” Her voice is quiet but that doesn’t stop Kinoshita from pausing the movie so they can all turn and stare at him. He scowls at Saeko from above Noyas’ head, blatantly ignoring the blush rising to his cheeks.

“Yes, it’s very interesting, thank you.” They hold eye contact, each sibling just as stubborn as the other, but then Saeko’s eyes flicker down to the man asleep on his chest and back up and her eyes fill with mischief as she addresses the rest of the room.

 _Ah shit,_ Tanaka thinks, bracing for the impact.

“So boys,” she whispers dramatically then gestures to Tanaka and Ennoshita, “is this a regular occurrence?”

There are a few quiet laughs, but it’s Daichi who speaks up. Traitor.

“Oh yeah, more often than you would think.”

Saeko looks positively ecstatic. “Oh, really? So my brother is the team's designated cuddler?”

“Nah,” Kinoshita chimes in, grinning wide, “just with our dearest and sweetest Ennoshita.”

“Oh! Oh!” Hinata exclaims as he sits up, eyes shining as he turns to Noya. Surely his pure, sweet, favourite Kouhai wasn’t about to- “Noya-Senpai, tell her about his automatic ‘Cuddle Mode’”.

“ _Hinata!”_ Tanaka whines quietly, still mindful not to wake up Ennoshita. Hinata is no longer his favourite, he decides bitterly. He had always liked Kageyama more anyway.

Saekos’ grin is feral as she looks at Tanaka, then at Noya. “Oh yes, please do. What the fuck is _cuddle mode_?”

Noya gives Tanaka a sympathetic look but the latter knows it's fake. He can see in Noyas’ eyes just how much enjoyment he’s getting from Tanakas’ misery. He needs new friends.

“Well,” Noya starts dramatically, “our dear sweet Ryu is so used to our even dearest and sweetest Ennoshita falling asleep on him, that his first instinct when he senses him drifting off is to put a hand around his waist and accommodate his sitting position so Ennoshita can snuggle into him.”

Tanaka hides his face in the hand that isn’t resting on Ennoshitas’ side, groaning as if he is in pain when Saeko squeals. “No way?! That is so cute little bro!”

“It’s true,” Asahi chips in and Tanaka loses all hope of regaining his dignity, “Noya proved it at practice one day.”

Tanaka lifts his head to glare as everyone laughs at the memory, but it only makes them laugh harder. He turns to Noya, disdain evident on his face as he regards the cackling libero. “Don’t you dare.”

“Oh _yes_ you dare,” his sister says, voice menacingly low, “I want to hear how the hell he managed that.”

Kageyama lifts his head from where it was sitting in his arms, flopping onto his back, and resting upon his elbows. “Noya-Senpai bet us all 1000-yen that he could prove it. So he sat beside him while he was distracted during a break, after Ennoshita-Senpai had gone to the bathroom, and Tanaka-senpai didn’t even look when he got into a cuddling position with Noya-Senpai.” He delivers the story with as much enthusiasm as a wet sock, but there’s amusement in his eyes and a small smile fighting its way onto his face. It would be sweet if he wasn’t currently being a gremlin. Tanaka did quite like Yamaguchi anyway, if what Ennoshita said about him was true.

Noya is still laughing as if being reminded of his own genius is the best thing he has heard that night, and wacks Tanakas’ arm softly. “I never did get my money.”

Saeko pulls her coin purse out of her back pocket and holds it up. “I’ll give 5000-yen to whoever can tell me the best story about my pining brother and his oblivious crush.”

Tanaka gaps at her in disbelief. Unbelievable, sold out by his own sister and teammates. He regains his composure and gives her a defiant frown. “I do not have a crush.”

The whole room openly laughs at him, hard, so he huffs and sinks further into the couch as they start giving accounts of all the times he had blatantly made it obvious he was pathetically pining. The movement disturbs Ennoshita enough for him to stir, but all he does is let out a breathy sigh as his arm curls further around the spikers waist before he starts snoring softly again. Tanaka can’t stop the fond smile that finds its way onto his face.

“Oh god, that is so cute!” He hears Saeko laugh, and he gives a resigned sigh.

“It’s disgusting, is what it is.” Tsukishima chimes in, voice full of disdain. “The last thing I want to see before and after school is Tanaka drooling over Ennoshitas' stomach and abs when he lifts his shirt to wipe away his sweat.”

Saeko cackles gleefully, handing Tsukishima the 5000-yen as Tanaka chokes on his own spit. “I do _not_ do that!” He gets several pitying smiles and pales in the realisation that he is decidedly _not_ as smooth or as discrete as he first thought. “Oh my god, he doesn’t notice, right?”

“No, and I have absolutely no idea how,” Narita deadpans, “now, can we go back to watching the movie? Not all of us have a set of muscles to fall asleep on.”

Kinoshita lets out an indignant gasp but plays the movie regardless after Saeko laughs and bids her farewell, footsteps disappearing to her room. Tanaka lets out a sigh and tries to focus on the movie, but all he can focus on is the feeling of warmth spreading across his chest and the hand latching onto his side. He traces patterns on Ennoshita’s back, spelling out the words he knows he’ll never be able to say out loud.

Ennoshita wakes up just as the credits roll, sitting up as he blinks in a disoriented manner when Noya flicks all the lights on. “Oh,” his voice is thick with sleep and it makes Tanakas’ stomach swoop, “I missed the movie.”

“Don’t worry, it wasn’t that good anyway,” Tanaka reassures, giving the other an easy smile. “did you sleep okay, at least?”

Ennoshita hums in approval, a content smile on his face that is still flushed from sleep. Tanaka tries (and fails) not to imagine waking up beside said flushed face.

They all help with tidying the living room; clearing away the empty cups and bowls, folding the blankets, and stacking the cushions. They chat among themselves for a while, conversation flowing easily between them all as they laugh and banter about anything and everything. Tanaka really enjoyed these (almost) weekly Friday movie nights – he really appreciated the way his teammates, his friends, all seemed the let themselves relax and enjoy the atmosphere and company. What he liked most was seeing how relaxed Ennoshita always seemed to be, eyes shining and smile bright as he let himself forget his usual stress and anxiety.

He had grown so much in the time they had known each other, both in spirit and physically. Sure, Tanaka could appreciate his lean body and pretty face as much as the next guy could, but he appreciated his newfound confidence and dedication more. The spiker knew how much his crush struggled with accepting the fact he had earned his space on the team and in his college prep classes, still stuck on his spotty first year, but he couldn’t help but notice the subtle ways he showed his newfound fire. Late-night study sessions, working through his morning breaks on most occasions during school, and spending quiet moments during practice discussing all the ways he could improve his techniques. Tanaka was just worried he was going to over-do it with how often the sleepy second year had to be reminded to slow down and take a breather. The only time he ever really relaxed was when he was asleep. Tanaka likes to think he’s an influence on the disappearance of his usual stress lines.

Slowly, the group starts to dwindle as people leave with excuses of homework or chores (or ‘ _I’m absolutely shattered’_ if you’re Narita) until finally, it’s just Ennoshita left, who has somehow once again fallen asleep against Tanakas’ side. Tanaka shakes him gently and smiles, “Enno, it’s almost 10 o’clock. Do you want to just sleepover?”

Ennoshita grumbles as he sits up, rubbing his eyes. _So fucking cute._ “Nah, I really should get home. Need to be up early tomorrow to help out my mum with the shopping before our study group.”

Tanaka hums, following Ennoshita as he sighs and heads towards the entryway to put his shoes on and grab his coat. He turns his attention back to Tanaka once he’s successfully gotten himself dressed and sends him a sleepy smile. “Thanks for coming tonight, it was nice – even if you did spend half of it asleep.”

Ennoshita lets out a startled laugh and Tanaka can’t help but beam back at him. “Thank you for having me, it was nice… even if I did fall asleep.”

“Do you want some company on your walk home?” Tanaka asks, voice gentle as Ennoshita steps into the cold night air.

“No I’ll be okay, don’t worry. Besides,” Ennoshita teases, “can’t be letting you loose at this time of night.”

Tanaka sends him a playful glare, smile still stuck in place before he softens his gaze. “If you’re sure. Text me when you get home safe?”

Ennoshitas’ cheeks tinge pink as he nods softly. “Yeah, I will. Goodnight Tanaka.”

“Goodnight, Enno.” Tanaka watches, head leaning against the door frame, as he walks down the street and disappears around the corner. He closes the door, sighing as he thumps his head against it.

“God, you’ve got it _bad_.”

Tanaka yelps in surprise, spinning around while clutching his chest. He sends her a glare. “Did nobody ever tell you it’s rude to sneak up on people?”

Saeko raises her eyebrow at him and gives him a bemused smile. “I live here too little bro,” she laughs then sends him a soft smile and nods her head towards the kitchen, “c’mon.”

He follows her into the kitchen, sitting beside her when she settles at the dining table. She waits patiently, staring at him intently as she waits for him to talk. He wants to talk, he wants to confide in her about all these confusing feelings and the way his heart aches constantly, but his throat is dry and suddenly he doesn’t have any idea how to explain. He looks down at the table, suddenly embarrassed.

“Can you get me a glass of water?” He croaks, and she nods before standing up to follow through with his request. When she settles back down and slides the glass over, he downs the cool liquid as if he’s a dying fool stuck out in the desert. He puts the glass down and slides it away, sucking in a deep breath as he regards his sister with a hesitant look.

“I… I really like him Saeko.” He whispers, then looks back down at the table. “I think I might even be in love with him.”

“Oh Ryu, I didn’t realise it was _that_ bad. Why did you never tell me?” Her voice is curious but kind.

“I never really knew how to explain it at first,” He sighs and closes his eyes, “he makes my heart flutter and ache in the best way at the same time, and every time he looks at me I feel like time freezes. He makes me feel good about myself, smart, like I’m worth more than a couple of failed pop quizzes. He makes me want to be the best person I can be because that’s how I see him. He’s kind, and patient, and funny, and he makes me dizzy with want even though I know I can never have him in the way I want him.”

He lets out a steadying breath, eyes opening and stuck on a stain on the table as he feels Saeko gently rub his shoulder.

“The first time he fell asleep on me I got this fuzzy feeling in my chest, comforting almost, and the thought of pushing him off me didn’t even cross my mind. It never does, really…” He feels his eyes well up a little, but stubbornly blinks them away, “it scares me how safe I feel when he’s in my arms - like I could take on the whole world as long as he’s by my side.”

“Why don’t you tell him how you feel, Ryu?” The question is innocent enough, but Tanaka can’t stop the bitter laugh he lets out.

“It would ruin everything,” he makes eye contact with his sister and she inhales sharply when she sees his eyes gleaming with tears, “I couldn’t lose him.”

She pulls him into a bone-crushing hug and he buries his nose into the crook of her neck, taking deep, slow breaths to will himself not to cry. They sit like that for a while before she pulls back, hands on his shoulders as she gives him a stern yet kind stare.

“Believe me when I tell you this - Ennoshita wouldn’t let you go. I can tell he cares about you a lot, and even if he doesn’t return your feelings, he would never use them against you. It’s always, _always_ worth the shot.”

He nods, a small sad smile on his face. “Thanks sis, I’ll talk to him.”

She grins at him brightly and punches his shoulder. “There ya go, Ryu! It’ll be okay, I promise!”

His phone chimes in his pocket before he can answer and he can’t help the smile when he pulls it out to see who it’s from. He blatantly ignores Saeko's smirk when she reads over his shoulder.

**_From: Sleeping Beauty_ **

_I made it home safe, tucked into bed. Thanks for looking out for me. See you tomorrow :)_

He was in deep, well and truly fucked… but maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing anymore.

\---

Ennoshita knows what he’s been doing is wrong, but he can’t help it. It really had started off innocently enough, Tanaka was just so _warm_ and Ennoshita was just so _fucking tired_ all of the time. The first few times he had fell asleep on the spikers shoulder he had been over-run with exhaustion, his mind begging him to just let go, and Tanaka had always made him feel safer, warmer, better, so without really being aware of what he was doing he had snuggled up close and reveled in the smell of the other man as he drifted off into a light sleep. When he would wake up he would feel groggy and confused, yet somehow the most at peace he had felt for a long time.

Eventually, whenever Ennoshsita felt tired, without really meaning to at first, he started seeking out Tanakas’ familiar warmth so that he could sink into it. Sometimes though, instead of sleeping, he would just appreciate being in the spikers’ company and relish in the safety of his warmth and the giddiness that came whenever he didn’t push away. Ennoshita isn’t stupid either. He’s noticed the way Tanaka immediately accommodates him, arm around his waist and a warm, steady palm on his back as calloused fingers absentmindedly trace patterns. It makes him feel weak every time, made his heart ache in the best and worst ways he never knew it could. Aching for something he has wanted for so, so long but he knows he can never have unless… unless it’s accidental. Which is why, despite the guilt and hurt that ebbs away at his conscience, he carries on as he is.

Which is how he has ended up in a position he’d never thought would become real, no matter how hard he dreamed it up.

The whole of the Karasuno Vollyball club is at a mini-party, minus coach Ukai and Takeda-sensei, in Tanakas’ house (due to his parents always being away on travel) to celebrate the upcoming graduation of the third years. It’s bittersweet for him in a way he knows everybody can understand. Suga, Daichi, and Asahi are all moving on with their lives and well on their way to beginning the journey to achieve everything they have ever wanted in life and Ennoshita is so happy and so proud, but he is also incredibly sad and, begrudgingly, feeling a little betrayed. He was being abandoned. Which okay, yeah, Ennoshita _knows_ that thought process is a little dramatic, but he liked how things were and he liked the support system they had built even more.

Who was he supposed to talk about his pathetic, unrequited pining to if Suga is at a university god knows how long away, focusing on his coursework? He could talk to Yamaguchi, he supposes, considering how close they got while occupying the same space on the bench. They had a lot in common, he realised, even more so when he saw the way the pinch server would react with a slight blush when gushing about his best friend. He saw it in the way Yamaguchi’s eyes would light up around him, the way they would linger a little too long on the blonde’s muscles or exposed stomach.

Maybe Ennoshita was just projecting.

There had been a lot of tears so far during the night, happy and sad. Laughter, music, and games steadily through the night keeping them all up in high doses until finally, everybody broke up into little groups and chatted among themselves. The constant rollercoaster of emotions had exhausted him. Which is how he ended up here, head resting in Tanakas’ lap with a strong, steady hand carding through his hair while his own hand rested gently on the spikers knee. He wasn’t asleep, obviously, how could he be when the feeling of his crushes hand running gently through his hair was making his whole-body tingle as he fought against the need to nestle into the touch?

He is relaxed though, drifting somewhere between mildly aware yet unaware, so much so that he almost doesn’t realise Tanaka has stilled his movements.

“Enno, are you awake?” Tanakas’ voice is unusually soft and vulnerable as if he doesn’t actually want to disturb the peace they’ve created in their corner. Ennoshita doesn’t really know why he doesn’t answer, but he keeps his breathing steady and eyes closed anyway, curious to see if he carries on.

“I’m going to take that as a no,” he carries on in a whisper and his hand continues it previous movements, “which is good because there is something I want to tell you, but I’m not sure I’ll ever do it when you’re awake.”

The words make his heart speed up, but he does his best to keep his breathing steady as he tunes out the buzz of noise around them.

“I really do appreciate you, everything about you. I like how kind you are, and how patient you are with all of us, with me, even if we don’t really deserve it. I like that you’ll sit with me for hours on end to help me with an assignment I just don’t understand until I finally do get it, I like that you don’t let it go until you know I’m feeling worth more than I am…” His voice is wavering slightly, and Ennoshita is pretty sure there are tears forming behind his still closed eyes, “I like the way you know when to be my friend and when to keep me in line.”

Tanakas’ hand is trembling slightly where it still cards through his hair, and Ennoshita wants desperately to grab it and soothe his anxieties, but he refrains.

“I get this ache in my chest when you look at me because, for a moment, I let myself believe that the impossible is going to happen, but then I remind myself it never can. And that’s okay. I’m happy just being your friend if it means I get to be with you for the rest of our lives, even if it isn’t in the way I want.”

 _What do you want?_ Ennoshita thinks, but the answer seems both obvious yet cryptic all at once.

“I like the way you can make anyone laugh no matter how sad they are, and I like when you fall asleep on me. I like the feeling of comfort and safety I get from you being in my arms, even if it scares me. I like the way your touch makes my skin burn with longing and want, and I like that it isn’t just a small flame in my heart anymore, but a whole damn house fire. So while I still can, I just want to say… to say…”

Tanakas’ voice is cracking as he struggles out the last sentence, and Ennoshita stops breathing altogether as anticipation makes his head spin. Tanaka takes a deep, steadying breath and then, “I just wanted to say… I’m in love with you Chikara, have been for a while now. I just wanted to get that off my chest, even if you’ll never really know.”

Ennoshita does open his eyes then, heart racing as he sits up and looks a terrified Tanaka in the eyes, noses brushing. “Say it again.”

Tanaka looks like a deer caught in headlights as he gaps at Ennoshita. “I- but you- oh my god Ennoshita I’m sor-“

Ennoshita grabs the back of the spiker’s neck and cuts him off, pleading. “Don’t you _dare_ try to backtrack, say it again, _please_?”

Tanaka gulps then relaxes when Ennoshita thumbs the nape of his neck gently. “I’m in love with you, Chikara.” He’s blushing slightly, but the tone of his voice is definite as if nothing could ever change how he feels and Ennoshita lets out a choked noise somewhere between a laugh and a sob.

“Fuck, Enno, are you ok-“

Ennoshita cuts him off by pressing their lips together, soft yet urgent, and suddenly the world feels like it has come to a standstill, everything disappearing until it is only the two of them left, fitting together like puzzle pieces as his eyes flutter shut. Ennoshita feels his heart skip a beat when soft lips press back against his, desperate yet patient, demanding yet gentle, both of them moving in sync as if they were made for it. Ennoshita thinks maybe he was made for it, made for loving and kissing Tanaka, handing over his whole being until there was nothing left.

It’s as scary as it is exhilarating, letting Tanaka have so much control over him.

Ennoshita gasps into the kiss as he feels strong hands on his waist, pulling him until he’s straddling the spikers thighs with his knees’ on either side. Heat curls in his stomach, rising quickly as he kisses Tanaka fervently and brings his hands up to cradle the other's face. Tanaka moves a hand up to soft, black hair and grasps it lightly, tipping Ennoshitas’ head for a better angle, and Ennoshita feels his knees go weak as Tanakas’ tongue slowly swipes against his bottom lip.

Ennoshita lets his lips part to deepen the kiss, reveling in the way their tongues glide together with all the feelings they have been harboring for each other for years. It still felt so unreal, the fact that Tanaka felt the same about him. That Tanaka was _in love_ with him. The thought makes Ennoshita smile into the kiss, causing the spiker to mimic the move as he moves his hand that was nestled into his hair to his cheek, slowing down the kiss until they break apart, lips still ghosting over each other as they breathe heavily.

“Woah.” He hears Tanaka say breathily, and Ennoshita opens his eyes with his own ‘ _I know_ ’ ready to fall from his lips but he feels his breath leave him all together once more when he sees’ the spiker looking at him as if he is responsible for holding up the stars in the sky.

He feels shy suddenly, blush creeping up his neck and settling on his face at the attention. His hands trail slowly down from the spikers cheeks, fingers brushing softly against his neck, eliciting a shiver from the man below him. He keeps going, eyes following as he ghosts a light touch over his shoulders, down strong, toned arms and following the path until his own, pale hands are laced through Tanakas’ strong tanned ones on his waist and his face. He squeezes them once, gently, and leans into the palm cradling his face to kiss against the pulse point on the tanned wrist.

Tanakas breath hitches when Ennoshita makes eye contact again, soft and full of love.

“I’m in love with you too, Ryuu.” It feels good to finally have it out in the open, and it feels even better when Tanaka whines and brings him in for another deep kiss.

Ennoshita grasps onto Tanakas shoulders for purchase as the kiss turns heated, tongues gliding together as they explore uncharted territory. Tanakas’ hands trail slowly down Ennoshitas’ back, leaving goosebumps wherever they touch until they are resting on his ass, kneading the tender skin over his jeans. He gasps, heat coiling in his stomach as he slowly grinds his hips against the spikers below him. Tanaka lets out a groan into the kiss, squeezing his fingers harder as he pulls Ennoshita in closer. One of his hands flies to balance himself on the wall beside Tanakas’ head, panting into the kiss as he feels rough, callused hands roam round to his front and slowly trail up the front of his shirt. He whines quietly when Tanaka breaks the kiss to trail his lips down Ennoshitas’ jaw before settling and latching onto the crook of his neck, sucking and biting over the spot until a small bruise starts to form. Ennoshita muffles a moan into the side of Tanaka's head. He wants to care about how he’s going to cover the bruise before his parents spot it, but he can’t bring himself to give a shit when his head is fuzzy from arousal – caused by the person he has fantasised about being under so many times before.

Tanaka makes his senses feel both overwhelmed and understimulated at the same time, desperate for more yet everything being too much. He trails the hand that isn’t on the wall down Tanakas’ strong, firm chest, fingers burning as they dance over the fabric of the thin t-shirt until he reaches the hem and settles his hand on the sliver of v-line that is visible and accessible over his athletic shorts.

It is then that he is regrettably and forcibly reminded that they are, in fact, still in a room full of their friends.

“HELL YEAH, GET IT LOVER BOY.”

Ennoshita breaks the kiss and mimics Tanakas’ look of horror as Noyas’ voice washes over them like a bucket of ice water. He turns his head slowly to face the rest of the room, flushing with embarrassment when he sees that everybody is staring at them with a varying mixture of reactions. Most of them all sharing the same shit-eating smirk minus Kageyama and Tsukishima, who look severely put out at having to witness the PDA. Tsukishima voices as much.

“Honestly, get a room. Ennoshita-senpai I know you’re better than this.”

Yamaguchi gives him a sharp wack to the arm, smiling radiantly. “Shut up, Tsukki. It’s about _damn_ time!”

The room lets out a chorus of agreement and Ennoshita opts for hiding his face in the crook of Tanakas’ neck as he lets out an embarrassed groan. Tanaka laughs below him, lifting one of his hands out of Ennoshitas’ shirt to assumingly flip Noya off. He shivers when he feels Tanakas’ breath against his ear.

“Want to head up to my room?”

Ennoshita lifts his head, biting his lip as he truly considers it. “As much as I _really_ want to, I just know they’re all going to be sitting outside your door to heckle us.”

Tanaka laughs, opening his mouth to reply but he gets cut off by Suga.

“Don’t you _dare_ even think about disappearing to your room! This is _our_ night!”

Tanaka smirks over Ennoshitas shoulder. “Too late. However,” he sighs dramatically, “we will keep you graced with our presence for a while longer.”

As everybody continues on with their previous conversations Ennoshita climbs out of Tanakas’ lap and settles into his side, smiling when he feels an arm automatically go around his waist. _Huh, interesting._

“So Noya was right then.” He says quietly.

Tanaka lets out a snort. “Rarely, about what?”

Ennoshita looks up at him with a smug grin. “You have a cuddle mode reserved just for me.”

Tanaka lets out a loud groan and thumps his head back against the wall, voice full of disdain as he speaks. “I’m gonna kill him.”

Ennoshita leans up to tip his chin back down to kiss him, short but sweet. “I think it’s rather nice of you.”

They kiss languidly in their corner for a while before Noya demands they join the group for _‘bonding games now, kissy time later!'_. As he settles into the circle, with his hand firmly linked with Tanakas’, he can’t help but feel giddy. It was the end of an era with the third-years leaving, but he couldn’t help but feel like it was a beautiful beginning, too. He knew that no matter what he faced in the up-coming year, he would be just fine as long as he always had Tanaka by his side.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Let me know your thoughts, or fic ideas, on here or at my Tumblr https://draco-logical.tumblr.com/ !


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